Watch Your Words

Written by Ismat. Posted in Personality Development


Watch Your Words

They say that if speaking is from silver, if you like to talk, it is equal to silver, then to be silent is equal to gold because we cannot as a human being control our tongues. And the biggest problem in this world is that people are not able to control their tongues from talking. And the Prophet Muhammad saw, he said, in the meaning of his hadith, tradition, part of the hadith is that “anyone who can guarantee for me,” he is saying, “can guarantee for me his tongue,” he didn’t say “his tongue” but he said, “what is between his jaws, I will guarantee for him Paradise.” Because you don’t know how you might address people and you hurt their feelings.

Anything that is between you and God, Allah swt, you do something wrong and you might take something to your advantage from the rights of your Lord, you repent, Allah is merciful He will forgive you.

Allah is always merciful. But the problem is that when we hurt the feelings of someone else or we backbite about someone else or we spread a bad rumor about someone else, the problem is not that you repent and god will forgive. The problem is that the person you hurt you must ask forgiveness. So there is a problem there. Might be the person you ask will not forgive you. So what happens? You are falling into a valley that has not bottom.

So it means on the Day of Judgment, whoever has been harmed he will give from his good deeds to give to you…Then he may be left with nothing, bankrupt.

Unfortunately many of us they try to hurt the others… in different ways. Look. Some Muslims hurt the majority of Muslims. Why? Because they thought this is their way, so even though they prayed and fasted, as the prophet saw said, because they hurt the other they are bankrupt in the presence of Allah they have nothing, they deserve punishment.

That is why one of the companions of the Prophet ,`Ali (r) , he said, “you have to be careful what you are saying and what you want to say.” Today what makes people falling into problems is they have to know what they have to speak and what they have to say. He said, “before you speak judge yourself before you say anything.”

Moralistic Story :

A younger woman one day said something that hurt (insult) her best friend. She regretted it immediately, and would have done anything to have taken the words back. But they were said, impulsively, in a moment of thoughtlessness, and as close as she and her friend were, she didn’t consider the effects of her words beforehand.

In her effort to undo what she had done, she went to an older, wiser woman in the village. Explaining her situation, and asked for advice. The older, wiser woman listened patiently in an effort to determine just how sincere the younger woman was, how far she was willing to go to correct the situation.

The older, wiser woman said, “There are two things needed to do to make amends. The first of the two is extremely difficult. Tonight, take your best feather pillows, and open a small hole in each one. Then, before the sun rises, you must put a single feather on the doorstep of each house in town. When you are through, come back to me. If you’ve done the first thing completely, I’ll tell you the second.”

The younger woman hurried home to prepare for her chore. All night long she laboured alone in the cold. She went from doorstep to doorstep, taking care not to overlook a single house. Her fingers were frozen, the wind was so sharp it caused her eyes to water, but she ran on, through the darkened streets, thankful there was something she could do to put things back the way they once were.

Just as the sun rose, she returned to the older, wiser woman. She was exhausted, but relieved that her efforts would be rewarded.

“My pillows are empty. I placed a feather on the doorstep of each home.” Now, said the older, wiser woman, “Go back and refill your pillows. Then everything will be as it was before.”

Now, said the older, wiser woman, “Go back and refill your pillows. Then everything will be as it was before.”

The younger woman was stunned. “You know that’s impossible! The wind blew away each feather as fast as I placed them on the doorsteps! You didn’t say I had to get them back! If this is the second requirement, then things will never be the same.”

“That’s true”, said the older, wiser woman. “Never forget. Each of your words is like a feather in the wind. Once spoken, no amount of effort, regardless how heartfelt or sincere, can ever return them to your mouth. Choose your words well, and guard them most of all in the presence of those you love.

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  • amendawalton

    Very much, we must be careful of what we say, a very wise friend
    of mine last year said this to me “Words cause Wars”, and I do believe this now
    with all my heart but actions can reverse those words, but depending on the
    action can confirm the words spoken. I do know I have said things that have hurt
    people without realizing I have hurt them just by the way I’ve said them or in
    the heat of the moment said things that are extremely regretful. We tend to
    hurt those closest to us because we expect forgiveness but that is not always
    the case, although taught through the mercy of Allah swt we too should be
    merciful to each other and know mistakes are inevitable. This is where actions can
    become louder once those hurtful words that can’t be reversed have taken toll.
    You can tell a person’s sincerity if they are truly sorry if their actions
    change and they do not repeat but instead learn and grow from them. Learning to
    forgive and knowing people are human that people make mistakes I believe is one
    of the keys to growth to peaceful living. We also need to be upfront and honest
    with each other, telling the truth no matter how painful the truth may be it is
    better then walking away in silence not allowing the person who hurt us not
    understand why they stopped speaking giving a person a chance to redeem
    themselves. This is the problem with social networking and the mistakes made I
    found from my own personal experience.  When I
    began social networking, I believed this was the best way to express my
    opinions and reach out to people but by doing this I now know I made many
    mistakes in my words and actions. I did this from lack of education of the
    world around me. I began to take stock of how many people around the world
    could read my thoughts. How many I may have hurt without knowing since we
    cannot see the faces or feel the hearts of those who we may have
    unintentionally hurt. When I embraced Islam last year, Praise be to Allah swt
    for opening my eyes and inviting me to see the truth, I have changed my ways.
    Although I try to reinvent myself to still communicate my thoughts, I do this
    with more thought of what my actions will bring. Too many people look for self-assurance
    on social networks mainly with pictures of our selves, in turn becoming nothing
    but a very narcissistic society wanting desperately for those 15 minutes
    of fame, in turn, our claim to fame could be very negative in what we say and
    do.  The solution to our lack of
    confidence is to turn to prayer and have faith in Allah swt.  Then if we choose to see the truth about the
    negative impact and ourselves our actions are to those around us we are then,
    God willing, guided in the right direction. Our society, given a blessing of technology
    so we can reach out to people on all corners of the earth making new friends,
    now we all must be educated how to use this blessing to make things right not
    cause more hurt feelings or worse, war that can not be reversed.  

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